10/9/2009

No one else can walk in the shoes of a married priest. Their life stories are the stuff of great movies--especially the stories of their struggle to remain celibate and the struggle to continue to serve when they are drawn to marriage. For some there are both the depth of joy and sorrow because of their decisions. .Some have written books, others told their stories in interviews and still others have provided excerpts of their “life in the mainstream” for this sidebar.

A few statistics:

• In the early days of the church, until 1139, popes, bishops and priests were married. Some popes were children of previous popes.¹
• The universal law of mandatory celibacy was changed in the church in the year 1139. It is documented that one of the major issues was real estate: the church wanted the homes where priests who died had lived. In some instances, their wives and children were sold into slavery by the church. ²
• More than 30,000 U.S. priests have left clerical ministry since the end of the Second Vatican Council (1968), nine out of 10 to marry.³
• Since the early 1980s, the church has been converting to Catholicism and ordaining into the Catholic priesthood, married Protestant ministers, moving them and their families into Catholic rectories. As of March, 1993, there were 100.⁴
• Pope John Paul II told the New York Times in July, 1993 that “Celibacy is not essential to the priesthood.”⁵

People who encounter married priests (and their spouses) often describe them as unusually “holy” people. Their presence in secular society is often regarded as a blessing and a special grace for those around them.

A divine call to the priesthood is something most seminarians experience at an early ages, making it very difficult to leave when they struggle with mandatory celibacy. Some never get over it.

By the time a priest became ordained during the 1950s and 1960s, he had been through rigorous seminary training. He’d been isolated from his family and friends, especially women, for six to 10 years depending on when he entered. Some became minor seminarians as early as 12 or 13 years of age. They would be allowed to see their parents perhaps once or twice a year.

Seminary training included “molding.” For instance one of the first vows they made (still today) was the vow of obedience to their bishop or other superior. They had to promise to obey the bishop in any and all things to the extent that when they left, some would move as far as 500 miles if told to do so, and certainly not celebrate the Eucharist if the bishop told them not to.

It has been CITI’s function (and honor) to draw out many priests and make them realize their continuing role of serving people with spiritual needs. They are reminded of the Gospel message, “Feed my sheep.”

Books have been written by priests who have transitioned to marriage. Some are listed below with more to be added in time. Shorter transition stories are also offered in this Sidebar by the following married priests, with links on our rentapriest.com website:

Transition stories available here:

Rev. James Koerber, North Carolina, (Read His Story)

Rev. Robert J. Fagan, Maryland (Read His Story)

Rev. Greg Zimmerman, Illinois (Read His Story)

Rev. Carroll Mrowicki, New Jersey (Read Her Story)

Rev. James Lovejoy, Georgia (Read His Story)

Books:

“Many Call Me Father, But My Kids Call Me Dad,” Rev. James E. Lovejoy, GA. 2007; Author House, $18.99

“Vows. The Story of a Priest, a Nun, and their Son,” by Peter Manseau, MA.2005.; NY: Free Press (Simon & Schuster, Inc), $35.00

“The Jesuit’s Escape,” by William Cleary, 2008, Infinity Publishing.com. $14.95.

“Love Is Always,” Michael Miles. 1986, NY: William Morrow. $17.95.

Additional:

“Unwanted: Memoirs of an Anglo-Indian daughter of Rev. Mi chael DeLisle Lyons of Detroit, Michigan” “Perfect: a love story,” by Soucier, J.C. 2008, Maine. NE: Morris Publishing. $19.50